Monday, December 10, 2012

December Days- Day 10

This is hard...and I need to get it out, as it's been eating at me day by day as Christmas nears. And although I am trying hard to be in a happy, festive mood, I'm finding it exceptionally hard these days. I miss my dad, plain and simple, and as Christmas day nears, I'm finding the tears are flowing more easily, more often and with more heartache. You see, the last memory of seeing my dad is on Christmas morning last year, as we skyped with mom and dad for the first time, and had a wonderful chat, some laughs and made memories, that now, are oh so important. I'm glad I got to see him laugh and smile and even give mom and me a hard time about yelling into the computer and going off screen half the time. But as I sit here, I'm not sad at this moment, happy with my memories, but I know the darkness will come back, torment me, make my world seem gloomy and dark and I don't want that, don't want the pain, nor the tears, but maybe, those tears will help me heal as Christmas draws closer so that on Christmas morning, I can look up and know he is sharing his first Christmas in Heaven with my sister Susy, whom didn't get as many wonderful Christmas mornings with him as I did......

Jordyn sent me a photo of this one a day when I was really down, and
now I can look at it without tears. It's the perfect ornament, wish I had it.

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